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On any of these, you’ll meet charming bachelors such as: Trust us, once you’ve had a date with a front porch you’ll swoon and wonder why you ever put up with all that bloody concrete spittle everywhere.

Our final advice is to rampantly date multiple objects at once to sieve out the obsolete products and find the one for you. You’ve probably spent more time with it than any other human being ever anyway, so why not go that extra step?

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Is it worth aborting your dignity in the name of becoming an amateur builder? There’s a whole world of inert objects out there to get it on with. Take it to a building site and, over a pragmatic dinner of debris and rocks, tell it you want to see other objects.

Do you want to spend your days with Cementy wearing a high vis jacket and a hard hat!? The cement mixer might lose its cement after that, but no matter how many obscenities it fires across at you just calmly deflect all insults – also, threaten to turn it off unless it behaves.

Tell them about the little details that attracted you to their online dating profile or discuss your shared interests. Read our advice articles to make your profile as attractive as possible and find tips on how to break the ice. Privacy: The information you provide will be used by International Limited and/or Dating Limited, Meetic’s group companies (by which we mean Meetic, any parent company of Meetic, and any subsidiaries of Meetic or its parent company), and their service providers located within and outside of the European Union (described herein as, the “Meetic Group”) in order to provide you with access to the Meetic Services.Single men: How would your life change if you had consistent and effortless success with women of great inner and outer beauty?Whether young or old we show you the secrets to attracting women through the exploration of your true powerful self.Let’s see if we can help love blossom into a 20 storey concrete monstrosity. I'm dating this cement mixer and it's going really well. The thing about cement mixers is they’re only ever after one thing – mixing cement.

Remember, it’s a device that homogeneously merges stuff together.If that isn’t deviously perverted, we don’t know what is. But if you’re not turning it on every night of the week so it can churn out concrete slop then it’ll choose its next conquest.