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26-Aug-2020 11:24

Heck, some people won’t even talk to me because of the wheelchair, much less date me.Yet my passionate desire for life and love is fully operational.But in the climate that prevailed at the time, people were shocked that I dared to hope for romance and physical intimacy. I was taught all of societies’ biases: that people with disabilities are different, sub-human, to be avoided (which is why we segregated them).It was as if, somehow, my disability made me less human to them. And yet, when I became one of “them,” I was, still me.The injury was devastating, but the societal condemnation that came on top of it was worse. In the United States, we were still sterilizing people with disabilities against their will.The kindly advice from my doctor was to check myself into a nursing home for the rest of my life to avoid being a burden on my family.My self-esteem as a woman, however, took a big hit.Intellectually, I know it shouldn’t, but the cultural messaging of revulsion and burdensomeness around disability that I was taught as a child and my inability to meet conventional definitions of womanly beauty, make me feel unattractive.

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Information emerged organically as we spent time together. ” As we reached different stages of intimacy, he asked more questions. I graduated from law school and got a good job (no small thing when the unemployment rate for people with disabilities is 65 percent). And people told me all the time what a saint he was for marrying me.

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And I’m still able in so very many ways: I’m a lawyer, conflict resolver, leadership development expert, writer, professional storyteller, improviser, world traveler and kick ass spades player.

I have a social life, opinions, ideas and feelings just like everybody else.

I cringed as it clanged and banged on the way down.

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