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26-Oct-2019 19:30

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When I give a dating assignment, I always ask students why they think I’ve asked them to do it and they pretty much always understand it. I find that students are often trying to figure out a “workaround” to deal with the awkwardness of trying to find a connection.

But I do make it an optional extra credit assignment for freshmen, because I realize that sometimes in that first year, it just feels to difficult. So they hook up, hang out or are just “talking to someone,” all of which are ways to accomplish what dating seeks to do without any of the vulnerability.

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“Once I started being more explicit about what a first date is, and coached them along, it became a good challenge that they enjoyed and appreciated.

I’ve had students tell me that they took the class simply so that I would make them go on a date, which is kind of crazy, but tells you a lot.

But it was decimated on college campuses, in my view, by the emergence of the keg party scene of the 1970s and 80s.

Let’s face it, a keg party is not where you’re going to meet a date. by the middle of the 1990s, the dating script really devolved and fell away as hook-up culture became increasingly dominant.

I’m also pretty dismayed at how coarse and fairly aggressive hook-up culture can be.

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