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Many parents tell children outright which racial groups they approve of them dating and which racial groups they forbid them to date. Now married to a Korean-American man, Farr had been told growing up that her boyfriends could only be German, Irish, French or Jewish.Farr defied her parents’ dating rules because she formed genuine connections with men from minority backgrounds.This isn’t to say that every successful minority who dates or marries interracially does so with ulterior motives.But just as some high-powered men pursue trophy wives, some members of minority groups pursue mates from the dominant culture for status. Your friends, colleagues and relatives are all dating interracially or have in the past. After all, you don’t want to be the odd one out or, even worse, the boring one.Because the United States remains racially stratified, however, it’s considered advantageous for members of oppressed groups to pair up with those of more powerful groups.From the Antebellum Era on, such partnerships have allowed people of color to gain access to a quality of life that likely would’ve eluded them otherwise.
The common interests and chemistry you have with a person should be the driving force for your decision to pursue a relationship.
There are a number of reasons not to date interracially, including for social status, because it’s trendy or to remedy a rocky love life.
Dating interracially with misguided motives will inevitably lead to problems.
A person this insecure is unlikely to make a good partner.
As the old saying goes, you can’t love someone until you love yourself.
At the same time, it’s irresponsible to seek out partners you know your parents would disapprove of just to rebel against them.