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He’s followed couples across decades in many psychological studies to see what kinds of behaviours predict whether they would stay together.
There are four things that kills relationships stone dead: repeated criticism, lots of expressions of contempt like sarcasm, being defensive and stonewalling, which is when communication almost completely shuts down.
The regions activated were those involved in emotion, motivation and higher level thoughts.
This psychology of love suggests that sexual desire is more than just a basic emotion, but involves goal-directed motivation and the recruitment of more advanced thoughts.
It used to be more about providing safety and solidity, now people want psychological fulfilment from their marriages.The brain gets a similar ‘hit’ from love as it does from a small dose of cocaine.