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Try to smudge some bright-red lipstick on his shirt collar."Presumably with the intention of causing havoc in his marriage. The cynic in most of us would point out that she wants to have her cake and eat it. I'm saying that if you're going to do it, make sure you get the most out of it."In other words, here's how to be a really good mistress.
On the one hand, she talks of the agonising cycle of deception and heartbreak which constitutes an affair, on the other, she writes jovially about how to play the cheating game. So now, perhaps, we know a little bit more about Symonds' true motives.
It was her entry into the high-octane, wealthy world of Arab sheiks and businessmen and, one must suspect, a lot more murky business. I was completely drawn into it."By 1997, she was back in London, living a tiny bedsit in Pimlico and working as a £15,000-a-year banqueting co-ordinator at the Royal Overseas League in St James's.
She won't say how many affairs she has had over the years - only that two were serious and left her heartbroken - but points out that she was caught up in a world where it was acceptable "to be married and have 20 mistresses". It was during a fundraising event at the House of Lords that she met Lord Archer, then running for Mayor of London, and embarked on a brief affair which was later exposed in a Sunday newspaper.
Most women, of course, do not need to be told that affairs are a bad thing.
But nevertheless, Symonds has turned her experiences into a controversial new book - Having An Affair?
Why, for example, does Symonds offer this advice on preparing a romantic evening meal for mistresses lacking in culinary skills: "Aim to practise some extra special sexual techniques in the bedroom afterwards.
He gets that at home."And further: "Liberally apply the strongest smelling perfume you can find all over yourself and on everything he touches. I just want women to be more like men and not get their hearts broken like I did.
Sarah Symonds, former mistress and author of the controversial says the signs that you’re dating a married man are usually painfully obvious.
She wrote the book "Having an Affair" and is herself having an affair with Gordon Ramsay, the world famous chef.
A Handbook For The Other Woman - which is currently causing a furore in the U. Sales of the book have soared since Sarah, from Newport in Gwent, appeared on Oprah Winfrey's show over there.
There is talk of a TV series - a well-known British actress is apparently in talks to play her - and then there's the 'Having An Affair' brand fragrance and even a range of 'Having An Affair' wines all due to be launched in America in the nottoodistant future.
Many of their clients were wealthy Middle-Eastern businessmen and celebrities, and Symonds found herself regularly jetting around the world on business. The relationship collapsed, but in 2003, she moved to LA and took a job as a business developer for a company manufacturing water features for hotels. I've never, ever loved a man like I loved him."Now where have we heard all this gush before?